Welcome to my World ~

I turn good things into dust, I completely eradicate their grandeur and rebuild them into turrets of self doubt and loathing. When something good happens, something I should be proud of, I tarnish it with thoughts that it was a fluke, something that will never happen again. Whatever it is, it isn’t good enough. It …

Fading Into Remembering ~

I have been in a bleak place lately. It is a familiar place, a place of introspection where I can try to figure out what is bringing on the sadness. I thought it was because of the shit storm of flashbacks I have been getting, but they were just the cap on feelings that were …

Buried Behind Labels

The day began long before it should have. I woke up with that feeling that always comes, that feeling of my breath being unbearably heavy in my chest. I begin again to question everything.  Gradually I become saturated in the desire to disappear. What seemed clear yesterday reveals itself as a lie in a new …

Crippling Frailities ~

I thought as I first entertained the idea of pouring myself out to the world that I was going to do this or I would do that. I was determined to become more disciplined, more succinct in keeping my blog alive. I was going to post twice a week; . I have a number of …

That Deplorable, Detestable, D-Thing

Let's talk about the D-word, shall we? It's taboo, carrying such a loathsome stigma in most cases. But I recently read two blog posts about depression, and its effects on those living with this afflictive reality. Both are brave and honest accounts of what it is like to live with depression, and both are written openly …

Deeply Desperate Ponderings ~

Today I feel buried beneath the weight of a fog that permeates my thoughts. I am on a dangerous precipice between depression and despondency, my strides uncertain and guided by fear. I find myself again and again, tangled up in a desire to escape the person I have always been and the depression that murders …